Why Transitions Are So Hard (And How to Make Them Easier!)
Does your child fall apart every time it’s time to leave the playground? Or get stuck shifting from playtime to bedtime? That’s the power of transitions—those in-between moments that can turn even the smoothest day into a meltdown minefield. Transitions are tough for young children. They involve stopping something fun, starting something new, and often doing it on someone else’s timeline. But with a few simple strategies, transitions can get a lot easier—for your child and for you.
Why Are Transitions So Hard?
Young children thrive on routine, predictability, and time to process what’s happening around them. Transitions, especially when they’re sudden or unexpected, interrupt that sense of control—and can lead to resistance or emotional outbursts.
Think about it from your child’s perspective: They’re immersed in building a tower, coloring a masterpiece, or running wild outside—and suddenly, it’s time to clean up or get in the car. Without warning or support, that change can feel abrupt and overwhelming. It’s not that they’re trying to be difficult—they may just need more time and help adjusting.
And for some children (especially those who are neurodivergent), transitions can trigger a deeper sense of dysregulation, making it even harder to shift gears without a meltdown. Understanding what’s hard about transitions is the first step to helping them go more smoothly.
Try This at Home
Here are a few practical tools you can use to make transitions easier:
Give a heads-up. Offer a warning before a transition happens: “In two minutes, it’ll be time to clean up.” This gives your child time to prepare and wrap up what they’re doing.
Use a visual timer. Young children understand what they see. A sand timer, color-changing timer, or even a timer app with visual countdowns can help them grasp how much time is left. It’s especially helpful for kids who don’t yet understand time-related language like “five more minutes.”
Use a “first/then” visual. This can help your child see what’s happening now and what’s coming next. (First brush teeth, then story.) This structure can reduce uncertainty and motivate them to complete the first task knowing something fun is next.
Keep language short and clear. Say what needs to happen in simple, positive terms: “Time to clean up,” instead of “I told you five times already…” When children are upset or distracted, fewer words make it easier to process what you’re saying.”
Celebrate the shift. Acknowledge when your child handles a transition well: “You stopped playing and came to the table right away—great listening!” Positive reinforcement helps build momentum for future transitions.
Just like with visual supports, transitions go more smoothly when your child is involved. Let them help set the timer, move the “first/then” pictures, or say what comes next in their schedule. This helps them feel more in control—and more willing to cooperate. Transitions are part of daily life—but they don’t have to be a daily struggle. With a few simple tools and a little prep, you can help your child move from one thing to the next with more calm and confidence.
Transitions are part of daily life—but they don’t have to be a daily struggle. With a few simple tools, some patience, and a little bit of planning, you can help your child move from one thing to the next with more calm and confidence. And as transitions get easier, so does everything else.
