3 Ways To Prevent Challenging Behavior
One way to address challenging behavior (CB) is to stop it before it even starts! While this isn’t always possible, there’s a few things you can do to minimize the likelihood of CB. A big upside of prevention strategies? Even if your child doesn’t engage in CB often, these strategies are universally supportive, meaning they strengthen relationships and promote healthy development for everyone!
1. Make your expectations clear.
Communicate explicitly with your child what you expect from them, in ways that are observable and at an appropriate language level for your child. To break this down a little bit: observable means that you (as the parent) can see it. Be specific, and state things positively. “Walk,” instead of “don’t run.” “Gentle hands,” instead of “don’t hit.” “Follow directions the first time,” instead of “be a good listener.” Tell them what you want to see. An appropriate language level should approximately mirror the language level your child uses. You can expand a little bit, especially for toddlers, but try to keep your language simple and direct. When they understand what you’re asking, they’re more likely to do it!
2. Give advance warnings!
As much as you can, try not to spring things on your child. Even if it’s just a few minutes, a warning that things are going to change can help them prepare mentally and emotionally. This is especially helpful when they have to stop doing something they like (e.g., putting the iPad away, leaving a friend’s house), or start doing something they don’t like (e.g., cleaning up toys, getting ready for bed). For bigger changes, like doctor’s appointments, give more time and more warnings. The more frequently you can communicate with your child, the better! And pairing the warnings with visual cues, like a timer, gesture, or picture schedule? Even better!
3. Maximize positive attention.
As children get older, we generally spend less and less time interacting with them one-on-one. They start to assert more independence, and parents use this time to get other things done. That’s a good thing! But setting aside some time (even just 5 minutes) for direct engagement with your child can really help strengthen your relationship. Children who feel a sense of safety and connection with their caregiver are less likely to engage in CB; positive attention that isn’t dependent on doing anything in particular helps build this sense of safety and connection! You can do this any time, no matter what is going on. Fun back-and-forth interactions can take place in line at the grocery store, driving to school, with or without toys, electronics, or other people. You know what your child likes – odds are, they’ll like doing it with you!
You know the cliche – “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of” whatever. The thing is, cliches are usually cliches for a reason. Less CB means more time engaging with others, more opportunities for learning, and less stress for everybody! In fact, you’re probably already doing some version of these things already. Changing how you do them just slightly to maximize effectiveness doesn’t have to take a lot of time or effort. “A little progress every day adds up to big results.” – Satya Nani
For more on preventing challenging behavior at home, download the Preschool Parents training modules on the National Center for Pyramid Model Interventions (NCPMI) website or check out some of our other blog posts!
